Author Topic: My ship is better than your ship: an exercise in office politics  (Read 3331 times)

MDI_Cassentra

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My ship is better than your ship: an exercise in office politics
« on: November 26, 2015, 03:45:58 PM »
It's not all fun and games around here, explorers. Sometimes you can work right next to someone for months - nay YEARS - and never really know them. Then, you look up one day and realize that they've been harbouring all these mistaken and alarming notions like, "I keep mustard in the cupboard" and "Wet naps are reusable if you run them under the tap".

What really surprised me was learning that my coworkers DON'T understand that the Series 3 Firefly-class Serenity is the most interesting and influential spaceship to have roamed the 'verse.



To my mind, a timeless and classic spaceship must:
1. have an authentic Lego version
2. be not just an integral part of the franchise, but function as a de facto cast member (you know it, Josh!)
3. be underestimated by its enemies (it's a 'flying piece of go se'!) and therefore triumph as the scrappy underdog again and again
4. infiltrate pop culture by appearing in every damn place you can look: there are Serenity and Firefly references in Castle, Battlestar Galactica, Ready Player One, Dr Horrible's, WoW, Borderlands, Big Bang Theory, Community, etc. etc....

Plus, the Serenity has no weapons! Fancy lasers and photon shields and time travelling powers and tractor beams are just a crutch for the weak and feeble-hulled! When the poop really hits the fan, it's up to Serenity's unflappable, ragtag crew to find a way to evade danger. And they do, like freakin' champions!

well, until the show got cancelled. *sob*

But whatever. You can't take the sky from me!
« Last Edit: November 26, 2015, 04:03:14 PM by MDI_Cassentra »

MDI_Teaspoon

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Re: My ship is better than your ship: an exercise in office politics
« Reply #1 on: November 26, 2015, 03:51:12 PM »
So when I was presented with the question of what the BEST SPACE SHIP OF ALL TIME might be, I turned my eyes to the heavens a looked for a little blue box and the doctor who might whisk me away in it. Ignoring my love of the Doctor, I would still have to stay the the TARDIS is the best space ship of all time. OF ALL TIME. My choice has already spurred some heated debate in the office since many people are saying that it’s a time machine and therefore, doesn’t count.

I for one, think that’s a steaming load of horseshoes.
Bill, Jeb, and Bob know what I’m talking about.

Not only can this SPACESHIP travel the stars, it also travels through time. You just can’t beat that. Sure, you run the risk of ruining history by hitting on the Queen of England or scaring your parents off the idea of having children thus wiping you from existence, but any history altering F ups are all on you, the TARDIS didn’t make you do it.

If time travel doesn’t float your boat, how does having a telepathically based universal translation system make you feel? Too lazy to learn how to speak a new language, just step into the box and enter a world where you can communicate freely with just about anyone or anything.

Still a skeptic? Let’s talk about being environmentally friendly. The TARDIS is a bioship made from a special species of Coral from Gallifrey. 100% ALL NATURAL! Come get some. It is a living thing with a soul, and before long it will know you better than you know yourself. As Mick Jagger so famously said “you can’t always get what you want, you get what you need”, and the TARDIS understands that. So don’t worry about trip planning, the TARDIS has got you covered.

Does the list go on? Yes, my friends...it does. While you are out exploring the universe doing god-knows what, you are going to pick up souvenirs and what better place to store them than in a virtually limitless extra-dimensional space. The TARDIS can reshape itself to your needs, talk about convenience.

It’s bigger on the inside.

Lastly, the TARDIS is unpredictable. While I know some people would cringe at the thought of flying through time and space unpredictably at the whims of a fantastical blue box, but those people are boring. You don’t want to be boring do you? No, I didn’t think so.

Also, there is a very possibility that your blue box might come with your very own Doctor, and that’s something that makes both of my hearts beat faster.

So what about you think? Is the TARDIS hot or not? Do you think there is another ship that has a better claim to the title of “BEST MOTHER F***ING SPACE SHIP OF ALL TIME”? The gauntlet has been cast, time to step up.
« Last Edit: November 27, 2015, 12:15:44 PM by MDI_Teaspoon »

PeterMDI

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Re: My ship is better than your ship: an exercise in office politics
« Reply #2 on: November 26, 2015, 04:08:12 PM »
The running joke in the office about me is that I’m the token hipster. Regardless of the fact that JC is cleaaarly more of a hipster than I am. And Ken’s always sending me updates about upcoming touring bands, refers to members of Vampire Weekend by their names, keeps up with new local bars, and has a tattoo (!), somehow I’ve gotten the label.

So immediately, Felicity rolls her eyes and fires off a “Peter’s cleaaarly going to hipster out on this one and choose some obscure ship”. But you know what? I’m not going to do it.

For greatest starship ship of all time, I’m going to choose the most obvious one. NAY, not only is it the most obvious one, It’s the only one.



So I applaud my co-workers for thinking outside the box, and, frankly, I’d like to thank them for leaving this one to me. But the Millenium Falcon isn’t even the gold standard. It’s like the foundation upon which all space ships rest.  Choosing anything else is barely-veiled contrarianism for its own sake.

Let’s look at how emotionally relevant the Falcon is to the Star Wars story: most of the plot of The Empire Strikes Back, the unanimous best Star Wars movie, is basically a comedy of errors in which the status of the Millennium Falcon’s warp drive is the central point.

And in Return, which character actually destroys the Empire? Is it Luke? Is it Han? Leia? Chewy?


This guy?

Wait… let me look this up.

Wait… Billy Dee Williams??



Can you think of another story in which the killing blow of a villain isn’t done by one of the main characters, but instead is done by a random secondary character who’s only introduced 63% of the way through the story?

No? Neither can I. Because guess what? Lando didn’t actually do it, the Millennium Falcon did. It’s the real hero of that portion of the story, and its presence nullifies the absence of the main cast. Lucas trusted that the emotional relevance of the Falcon doing the deed would function regardless of who piloted it, and he was right!

Think of this scenario:

Imagine you were in some kind of dystopic future where a government agency was going to erase a random number of fictional starships from the world archives, and you had the choice to guarantee the existence of one, single ship. Which one would you choose?

Yeah, you’d choose the mother-effin’ Millennium Falcon. Because it made the goddamn Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs.

« Last Edit: November 26, 2015, 04:37:41 PM by PeterMDI »

papazombie

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Re: My ship is better than your ship: an exercise in office politics
« Reply #3 on: November 27, 2015, 06:44:05 AM »
Admittedly I'm not part of the office in any way shape or form but its not going to stop me from poking my nose in.

Strong choices but....

Farscape. Moya.

I've never cared for any other ship like I cared for her. Others might have more style or function or fire power but she has more moxie than any of other.

MDI_Cassentra

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Re: My ship is better than your ship: an exercise in office politics
« Reply #4 on: December 10, 2015, 12:38:46 PM »
I'm shocked that no one has put in a pitch for the USS Enterprise. SHOCKED!

Agent D

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Re: My ship is better than your ship: an exercise in office politics
« Reply #5 on: December 14, 2015, 02:00:57 PM »
I had thought about the Enterprise, truly.  But, if we're talking long term space travel, I'd have to consider Spaceball One.



You just can't beat the ship that includes such amenities as:

Full equipped laser system with questionably trained firing staff.
On Board Walking Mall
Three Ring Circus
Zoo
Seat Belts
Ludicrous Speed Drive
Emergency Stop
Radar
Mr. Coffee Integration on several decks to aid in Radar watching.
Optional "We Brake for Nobody" Rear Hull Sticker
Optional transformation drive to aid in stealing precious air from unsuspecting planets.

When it isn't trying to fire warning shots poorly (inadvertently shooting lasers up another ship's nose instead of across) it practically doubles as a vacation space cruise, making for high staff morale and breaking the deep space doldrums.  Also, given the extreme size of the ship, boarding parties would be stretched too thin to mount a considerable assault, as by the time they traversed the ship's distance on foot --even without active security-- a feature length film could be over.  Granted, the conspicuous giant self destruct button within the deeper decks of the ship could be a deal breaker for some risk adverse Captains and aspiring dark lords, it can optionally be replaced with a flip out IOU sticker aftermarket at your nearest "Spaceballs: The Ship Dealership" or similar participating chains for a modest fee.  Any new buyer for a Spaceball One Cruiser will also be given a free case of Planet Druidia canned air as part of a specialty rebate, and help combat that 'new ship' smell while you complete those initial break in light-years, redeemable at your nearest "Spaceballs: The Gift Shop".

***Disclaimer***
We strongly discourage the instant use of Ludicrous Speed and/or the Emergency Stop especially we used sequentially and without use of the proper safety equipment.  Brains have been known to go into the feet of unfortunate users who failed to follow the strict safety procedures.

Razmoudah

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Re: My ship is better than your ship: an exercise in office politics
« Reply #6 on: December 14, 2015, 09:34:54 PM »
Sorry, but you all missed the greatest one of all.  There are many contenders for the #2 spot, but #1 can only go to Spaceship Earth, aka. the planet Terra.  Without her self-sustaining ecosystem none of us would even be here to have this argument.

MrSolaris

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Re: My ship is better than your ship: an exercise in office politics
« Reply #7 on: December 19, 2015, 07:16:21 AM »
Sorry, but you all missed the greatest one of all.  There are many contenders for the #2 spot, but #1 can only go to Spaceship Earth, aka. the planet Terra.  Without her self-sustaining ecosystem none of us would even be here to have this argument.
+1 no one can beat our mother spaceship earth  ;)
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TantricEcho

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Re: My ship is better than your ship: an exercise in office politics
« Reply #8 on: January 22, 2016, 08:16:38 PM »
Normally I would have to cast my vote for the Millennium Falcon, maybe even Slave I. However, I'm going to choose "family" and go with Commander Shepard's Normandy SR-2.



(He's my great, great, great, great, great, great-grandson. I'm so proud).

Trar

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Re: My ship is better than your ship: an exercise in office politics
« Reply #9 on: January 30, 2016, 11:04:43 AM »
These are all nice, but they're not the rootinest, tootinest, toughest ship that ever faced overwhelming alien odds and scored a (pyrrhic) victory:


Randovar

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Re: My ship is better than your ship: an exercise in office politics
« Reply #10 on: February 02, 2016, 05:23:05 PM »
Ohhh the Serenity. Bestill my aching heart...


It's not all fun and games around here, explorers. Sometimes you can work right next to someone for months - nay YEARS - and never really know them. Then, you look up one day and realize that they've been harbouring all these mistaken and alarming notions like, "I keep mustard in the cupboard" and "Wet naps are reusable if you run them under the tap".

What really surprised me was learning that my coworkers DON'T understand that the Series 3 Firefly-class Serenity is the most interesting and influential spaceship to have roamed the 'verse.



To my mind, a timeless and classic spaceship must:
1. have an authentic Lego version
2. be not just an integral part of the franchise, but function as a de facto cast member (you know it, Josh!)
3. be underestimated by its enemies (it's a 'flying piece of go se'!) and therefore triumph as the scrappy underdog again and again
4. infiltrate pop culture by appearing in every damn place you can look: there are Serenity and Firefly references in Castle, Battlestar Galactica, Ready Player One, Dr Horrible's, WoW, Borderlands, Big Bang Theory, Community, etc. etc....

Plus, the Serenity has no weapons! Fancy lasers and photon shields and time travelling powers and tractor beams are just a crutch for the weak and feeble-hulled! When the poop really hits the fan, it's up to Serenity's unflappable, ragtag crew to find a way to evade danger. And they do, like freakin' champions!

well, until the show got cancelled. *sob*

But whatever. You can't take the sky from me!

MongooseCalledFred

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Re: My ship is better than your ship: an exercise in office politics
« Reply #11 on: February 06, 2016, 12:04:48 PM »
All those ships mentioned above are nice, but do they offer functionality? Like being able to take job searchers to the skies? And being able to give you a lesson in the utter usefulness of a Medbox? And being able to guarantee you survive if it crashes? And being able to deposit you on Tranzalore within 100 yards of a ship that doesn't look like it has the power it really does (and a strange man with short-range device)? The only ship I can think of with all of this functionality is Captain Edwards's Kaidun Frigate, from the tutorial of Interstellaria (my favorite currently-playable space game).

I can barely wait to see what Halcyon 6 will offer for best ship.
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Xerek86

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Re: My ship is better than your ship: an exercise in office politics
« Reply #12 on: February 06, 2016, 03:39:51 PM »
One of my Personal favs The Andromeda Ascendant

Lots of other ships have personality, but few of them have as much character as Andromeda, the ship whose A.I. has a strong attachment to her captain. One of the most powerful ships in the galaxy, the Andromeda is one of the last reminders of a more civilized time — but she can also get medieval on enemy ships when the need arises.

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Dsaber

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Re: My ship is better than your ship: an exercise in office politics
« Reply #13 on: April 26, 2016, 09:32:53 PM »
I love all of these selections: The Millennium Falcon, the Normandy, even Spaceball 1 are all pretty awesome.

For me though, I'm going to have to go with something old school:



The Star Control 2 Precursor Vessel or Flagship was simple, elegant, and was sacrificed for the whole of mankind!  Whether it was dodging Slylandro scouting ships or acting as an evil god to the Illwrath to instigate a war with the Thraddish, this is your epic ship of choice!

Ahh the memories: capturing a rampaging space monster for the perverted Admiral Zex, to repopulating an entire raccoon species, to wondering why the hell the Melnorme's background turned purple, Star Control 2 was bloody awesome.

evilkittenofdoom

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Re: My ship is better than your ship: an exercise in office politics
« Reply #14 on: February 03, 2017, 06:17:28 PM »
A bit late to the party, admittedly, but... yeah.

Given that so many options have been taken already, and though I would also argue the U.S.S. Enterprise is a very striking choice, I am going to go a little bit sideways from there.

Moya. A Living, Breathing Spaceship.

Why would you want a living spacecraft, you ask? Well, since we can't rightly ask the Chruul directly, I'll have to give some of my own opinion on the matter.

Living things have preservation instinct. Maybe a double-edged sword sometimes, but she'll get herself out of trouble if she feels that unsafe about it.

Heals herself! Automatically! Silly machines needing their repair drones and such.

She has feelings. She can be reasoned with. Sometimes she gets a little obstinate, sure, but, all part of her charm.

Okay. So, maybe not the most epic spacecraft available, but, most of the really good ones have been listed already. xD